Breaking Me Down
In my life I have been happy, sad, poor, broke, wealthy(sorta) skinny, fat, in the middle, in shape, out of shape, an alcoholic, a party animal, a loner, a bachelor, a homebody, hyper-active, depressed, a liar, a gambler, an honest man. I have owned fancy clothes, I have attended weddings in walmart clothes, had jewelry and watch collection, worn yarn bracelets, had a shoe collection of over 100 pairs. I wear flip flops, I have owned crappy cars, a luxury car, a race car,trucks, work vans, boats, wave runners, mo-peds scooters, and bicycles. I have lost it all an started over 3 times since I was 18. I have walked, jogged, sprinted, taken the train and the bus to work. I have been a student, a jock, a drop out, gone to college, university, and drop out again. I have lived in back rooms, apartments, a 5 bedroom house, a 4 bedroom house, many houses. on a couch, on the floor in jail. i have slept nights in my car, in the back of my truck, in my van, in the woods, on the beach, on a bench, in a warehouse, log cabins, cottages, trailers, tents, in penthouse suites, in the days inn, on a boat, on a bigger boat, on the front porch, on an outside air conditioner, in the hospital. I have spent thanksgivings, Christmas, and birthdays by myself or in a bar. I have seen a baby being born, I have prayed for someone to expire peacefully. I’ve tried to end it all, I’ve wished nights would never end, i have been jumped, sucker punched, I have been beaten by men. I have been robbed at gun point, been an instigator, a pacifist, I have made friends, I have been an enemy. I am highly intuitive, I am a big dumb animal, I am a handy man. I break things. I have had 3 mothers, 2 fathers, 4 sets of grandparents, 1 sister, and in-laws. I have hiked: the northern forests, southern swamps, skied the mountains, baked on the beach, swam in rivers, lakes, and muck puddles. hunted animals, whelped puppies, appreciated nature. I’ve laughed in the face comedians, mother nature’s fury, irony, karma, myself and others. I see the bad in people. I see the good in people. I have been religious, agnostic and atheist. I believe in a higher power. I am husband, Partner, I am Dad.
I am none of these things.
I am all of these things.
I am.